Rather Be
by adorbskatic
Summary: "She glares at him, doesn't want him to be getting any ideas of what's going to happen between them tonight, although the thought sparks a flame deep within her stomach." Set post 2x18.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Thank you to Ericka for the prompt and to the Lindsey, Callie, and Valen for (gently) yelling at me on twitter to fill it (sorry it took three weeks). Also, thanks to Abbey for being fab and helping me w some ideas and Alex for being my beta - you all rock x

* * *

It's half past seven when Kate finally exits the elevator and heads towards the door of the loft. She should knock, like the guest that she still is, but instead finds herself reaching for the shiny new key that Rick had insisted she use while living with him - _it's your home,_ he had said as he handed it to her _, even if it's only temporary_.

She's exhausted. She had spent her day off apartment hunting - a term that she never found quite as fitting as she does now - and she'd come up with nothing. Nothing fit, none of them were right, and after viewing ten different apartments she'd just given up.

She shuts the door gently behind her and sees Rick standing in the kitchen, watching her.

"Hey," he greets, putting the dish he was washing down on the counter and walking towards her. "How'd it go?"

She huffs out a frustrated breath as she shrugs off her jacket and goes to hang it in the hallway closet.

"That bad?"

"It was horrible, Castle," she sighs, turning back to face him after her coat is hung and the door is closed. "Nothing felt like home."

She didn't expect it to be easy to find an apartment, she knows it took months for her to finally settle on her last one, but back then she was still living at home - albeit scarcely - and was able to take her time, wait until she found a place she was absolutely in love with before signing anything. Now she's a guest in her partner's home and just wants to be out of his way as soon as she can be.

"What would feel like home?"

It's an innocent question, she knows that, but the answer she wants to share with him isn't. She knows he's asking about physical things, but all she wants to answer is _here._ Because home to her has become this loft - it's full of laughter, love and - most importantly - him. But she refrains, doesn't want to reveal those thoughts to him, instead shrugging and breathing out a quiet 'I don't know.'

"Well, you're welcome to stay here as long as you like."

She knows she is. Sometimes she thinks that he would be perfectly happy if she were to never move out, to just live here forever. But those are thoughts for a later time, a time when they're together - because now, to her, it's no longer an _if_ but a _when_ \- and not when she's living in the guest room of his loft in search of a home.

"In the meantime," he continues, his light and flirty tone interrupting her thoughts, and oh god what is he suggesting? "Why don't we do something fun?

"Like what?" she questions, amusement in her tone.

"We could have a movie night!"

She actually laughs at that. Of course that would be his suggestion.

"A movie night, really? What are we, Castle? Teenage girls?"

"I'll have you know, Alexis and I have movie nights all the time and I enjoy them just as much as her."

She rolls her eyes, but honestly, a movie night with him seems pretty great.

"Come on, Beckett, it'll be fun," he whines, as she pretends to consider it. "I'll make popcorn and we can drink hot chocolate and snuggle."

She glares at him, doesn't want him to be getting any ideas of what's going to happen between them tonight, although the thought sparks a flame deep within her stomach.

"Okay, fine, no snuggling, but we can wear pajamas and sit an appropriate distance from each other and it'll be fun and help you destress, okay?"

"Okay, fine." she huffs, adding an eye roll for good measure, but really, there's nothing she would rather be doing.

"Great," he responds, with a tad too much enthusiasm in his voice. "I'll get everything ready, you go change into something comfy and relax and I'll come get you when everything's ready to go."

* * *

He knocks on her bedroom door thirty minutes later, a mug of hot chocolate in hand.

"All set?" she asks, taking the mug from him graciously, raising the cup to her nose and inhaling the delicious scent, treasuring the warmth spreading through her hands.

"Yep! We just have to choose the first movie."

"First?" she asks, arching an eyebrow.

"Beckett, you can't have a movie night without watching _at least_ three movies."

"Is that so?" she hums, the smile she's trying to suppress shining through.

"Yes," he huffs out. "Who do you take me for?"

She squeezes by him, heading for the stairs, and the hand that brushes her across her back, allowing her the room to get by him, lingers just long enough that it has to be intentional. Just long enough that she has to suppress the shiver that wants to run through her at the simple touch of his hand.

"You're right, who in their right mind would only watch one movie?" She can't see the look on his face as she walks down the stairs, his body just close enough for her to feel his warmth emanating through her thin t-shirt - oh god she should not be thinking these thoughts. But she's into him and now she's really past the point of denying it to herself - but she knows that he's smiling at her.

"Your sarcasm wounds me."

"Good," she says, laughing and reaching behind her to hit him lightly.

* * *

"So, which do you choose?" he asks once they're seated on the couch, popcorn and hot chocolate resting on a tray between them, a bottle of red with a pair of glasses on the end table next to her.

There's an array of DVDs on the coffee table in front of her, everything ranging from P.S. I Love You ( _really?)_ to the original Star Trek.

"I'm easy," she replies, but after looking up and seeing the smirk on his face she's quick to follow up with a glare. "Not what I meant, Castle."

"I would never," he replies, his amusement still clear on his face and mirth laces his words. "But your choice, I want _you_ to have fun, because we both know that I will either way."

Her heart flutters at that. She's not really surprised at the implication of his words - that he would be happy doing anything as long as it was with her - but they still hit her hard, and suddenly she realizes that he needs know it's not a one-way thing. She'd be just as happy doing anything with him.

"I'd have fun either way," she says, her eyes focused on her hands, her voice quiet but steady. "Your movie selection isn't the reason I'm staying here."

"I thought the reason you were staying here was because your apartment quite literally went up in flames."

She swats him lightly, but she's thankful for that. Thankful that he defused a conversation she's not sure either of them are ready to have.

"Sorry, too soon?"

"No, no, it's fine." It's still surreal to her, she thinks, that she's never going back there. "Anyway, I haven't seen the latest Harry Potter why do-"

"You haven't seen the latest Harry Potter?!" he exclaims, mock horror etched on his face.

"Nope."

"Why?!"

"I mean, I was going to at some point, I just haven't gotten around to it," she answers, shrugging.

"It's decided then," he states, standing up from his place on the couch and walking towards the TV, the DVD in his hand and a smile on his face. "And after we can watch that romcom I know that you _really_ want to watch."

"Just put in the DVD, Castle."

He looks back at her and smiles as he slides the DVD into the player. Before he rejoins her on the couch, he removes the tray from between them, setting it instead on the coffee table, moving the array of movies to one side. When he sits down next to her this time, he's closer than he was before. His body still isn't quite touching hers, but he's close enough that she can feel the heat emanating from his body; it's electric.

* * *

Kate forces herself to focus on the movie instead of the body seated next to hers for as long as she can but a third of the way through she finds herself unable to focus on the adventures of the teenagers on the screen. Instead her attention is entirely on Castle. He leans forward, silently retrieving his glass of red wine from the table. He turns to look at her, offering the glass to her with a smile as he leans back on the couch. She takes it graciously, smiling at him over the rim as she takes a sip. He readjusts slightly as he resettles on the couch, moving just the slightest bit closer to her so that their already almost touching thighs are now snug against the others.

She tries to refocus her attention on anything but him, staring at the clock, her wine, and finally again at the film. Her eyes remain glued to the screen, but her thoughts are glued to the spots where their thighs are touching. She's no longer capable of paying attention, not to the movie, at least. Her thoughts are only on him. The heat his body is radiating, the scent she's grown love - love? - over the past year, the electricity that's sparking through her body from where their knees are only just touching.

She's yearning for him, wants to be closer to him, touching him in more places than just the slight brushing of their thighs. So she moves. She shifts closer to him, their bodies aligning more and she can feel his breathing halt as she rests her head on his shoulder, wraps her arm around his torso.

It's not a bold move, not in general, but it's her and it's him and everything they seem to do has meaning, so she holds her breath as she waits for his reaction, waits for him to relax. He does, after a few moments, settles his hand over hers where it's resting on his torso, laces their fingers together gently.

He doesn't say anything about it, although neither does she, and they sit in silence, her eyes focused on the screen but her mind anywhere but as she takes in the smell of him, the feel of his body against hers.

They stay like that the remainder of the movie and as the ending credits roll she can feel his hesitance in getting up, putting on the next film. So they sit there, content in their silence and proximity until the screen turns black. She goes to pull away from him, makes the move that neither of them seem to want to make so that the next movie can be put on, but his grip on her hand tightens and she finds herself instead being pulled into a tight hug.

She can feel him breathing her in, but she won't comment on it, not now. Instead, she holds onto him tighter and whispers her thanks into his neck.

"So," he whispers as he pulls back, not wanting to shatter the bubble they've seemed to have entered. "What should we watch next?"

* * *

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please feel free to review letting me know your thoughts! Chapter 2 should be up soon :)

Prompt: "Our eyes are glued to the screen, but our thoughts are glued to the spot where out elbows are touching"


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: sorry this became smut

* * *

"The Notebook," she answers, once she's back in her previous spot, her thigh still touching his but the rest of their bodies inches apart.

"Hm?"

"We should watch The Notebook next."

It's dumb – to suggest a movie so classically romantic. But it's her favourite – or so she says – and maybe it will give them that push to explore their relationship further than whatever it seems to be right now. He arches his brow at her in response and she just shrugs, placing her wine glass on the table with the long-forgotten popcorn and hot chocolate.

"The Notebook? Really?" he muses.

"Yes, really," she laughs, pretends that she doesn't know what he's getting at, that she doesn't realize all the lines that they could be skirting. "Why, what's so funny about that?"

"Just didn't picture you as the romantic type, I guess."

"Even if I weren't, who doesn't love staring at Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling for a couple of hours?"

He laughs, looks at her with a genuine smile on his face, the one where his eyes crinkle in happiness. She smiles too, laughs with him, and she realizes that despite everything that happened in the past few days, she hasn't been this happy in a long time.

* * *

Once he's back on the couch and the movie's playing on the screen in front of them, she inches back towards him. She goes for subtle, although who is she kidding, and eventually is back to where she was during the previous movie - her body tucked into his, her head resting in the crook of his neck. He brings his arm down from the head of the couch, resting it instead behind her back, his hand settling on her waist, fingers trailing gentle patterns on her stomach, causing warmth to spark throughout her.

It's easy being like this with him, it's something she can see for their future. Nights like this, where they stay here with just one another's company. Her mind fills with images of them dancing in the kitchen to the quiet hum of music in the middle of the night, the lights shining in from the city surrounding them. Images of them cooking dinner together, of them sitting like this watching television after a long day, images of children with his eyes and her smile running around the loft.

She's getting ahead of herself, shouldn't be thinking things along these lines, but it's her and it's him and she knows once they start this thing between them, there will be no going back.

It's not love between them, not yet, but it's more than lust, more than just physical attraction, and she's fully aware that once she gets a taste of him, she won't be able to stop.

She returns her focus to the movie, finds herself mouthing along to her favourite scenes. She can feel his gaze turned on her at those points, can tell that he's smiling because of it – even if she can't see it – and it makes her happy.

It makes her happy that she can make him happy.

She's able to concentrate on the movie for a while – longer than she had expected – but once _the_ scenecomes on, all thoughts of the movie leave her mind and all she can think about is him.

The weight of his hand on her stomach goes from a barely-there touch to all she can feel. All she wants is his hands on her - there and everywhere - and it's a dangerous thought, a set of actions that would push them far enough that there would be no going back, but right now that's all she wants.

"Some kiss…" he breathes, his eyes still not looking at her.

"Uh huh," she replies, and it's verging on awkward. The tension between them is palpable, the air thick with it. She's tense, looking around the room, trying to focus her attention on something, anything, else, but her eyes keep finding their way back to his lips.

She's staring at him now, not even trying to hide it anymore, but he's staring back, his eyes moving between her eyes and lips. She licks her lips, watches him as he watches her and something snaps between them.

She's on him then. Her hands on his face, mouth pressed hotly to his. His tongue seeks entrance, which she doesn't hesitate in giving him, allowing him to taste, explore, and she feels like she's on fire.

She pulls herself into his lap, her thighs are bracketing his waist, her hips pressing firmly into his, providing pressure in all the right places. She threads her fingers through his hair, pulls his mouth closer to hers. The kiss is heated, his mouth hot against hers, his tongue not at all hesitant, and she's burning with it. He tastes like a mix of chocolate, red wine, and something that can only be described as _Rick_ and it's making her head spin. He's good, they're good _together_ , and the kiss is surpassing all of her previous expectations, so much better than she could have ever imagined it.

His hands move from their place on her waist to her ass, pressing her into him, _hard,_ and she breaks the kiss, lets out a moan that she would probably be embarrassed about if she wasn't so turned on right now.

Rick takes advantage of the position change, attaches his mouth to her neck, nipping, laving, sucking and he's going to leave her wearing turtlenecks for the next week but who even cares when it feels this good. She twines her fingers through his hair, holding him there as if he would leave if she didn't, but he pulls back causing her to loosen her grip and let out a quiet whimper. Before she has the chance to question him though, he's pulling off his navy Henley, forcing her hands away for just a moment, giving her a chance to remove her shirt as well - and _oh, god,_ she's straddling Richard Castle in his living room with no shirt on.

"Should we be doing this?" she whispers once they're both naked from the waist up - her left in just a black lace bra and him completely bare - his nose touching hers. She's not sure. Maybe it's too soon, maybe they aren't ready. But she wants this, him, and really, how will they know if they never try?

"I don't know," he replies, his eyes locked on hers, a mix of arousal and apprehension shining in them, but then he's pressing another kiss to her lips, allowing her to deepen it, take control, as his hands trace patterns on the newly exposed skin of her back.

"Bedroom," she breathes out, as they part for air. Rick huffs, but stands, gripping her tightly with one arm under her thighs and the other at her back. She wraps her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck, securing herself to him. She uses this opportunity to return the favour he had been paying her on the couch, pressing her lips to his neck, beginning soft and sweet, but quickly becoming more desperate, harsh. She's pretty sure he won't complain either way.

They make it to his room without much hassle and he drops her onto his bed, gentler than she thought he'd be, but it's good, she likes gentle, she likes _him._

He kisses her, softer than he had been on the couch, before guiding her back towards the head of his bed, resting her head upon the pillows.

"You're beautiful," he murmurs, placing kisses to her forehead, cheeks, jawline, travelling further down with each kiss, until he's at the edge of her bra. "So goddamn beautiful."

Heat floods to her cheeks, she doesn't know what to say. His words lovely and intimate and maybe just a bit too much for her to process, so she just smiles at him, gently brushes the unruly hairs off of his forehead, skims her thumb across his cheek. She nods, giving him whatever permission he may think he needs to continue his exploration of her body.

He kisses the tops of her breasts, the skin visible above her bra, before moving down, taking her left nipple into his mouth through the lace, bringing his hand up to massage the other. She moans, loud and uninhibited, but she doesn't care, not right now. Her left hand is on his neck, rubbing it gently as she holds him in place while her right is gripping the sheets by her head. He's relentless, sucking and nipping at her, switching between breasts, paying even attention to both, and she swears she could come from this act alone.

He reaches behind her, unclasps the bra with ease, and she slips her arms out of it, tosses it somewhere across the room, decides she'll deal with it in the morning. He latches onto her bare nipple, suckling, somehow managing to be both gentle and rough at the same time, and oh it's _so_ doing it for her.

Rick moves the hand that had been resting by her head down to her waist, drawing gentle patterns on her side, stomach, trailing them lower and lower until he reaches the waistband of her underwear. He stops then, lifts his mouth from her chest – causing her to let out a whimper – and looks up at her.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" he asks, climbing back up her body so that his face is even with hers. "This isn't some delayed 'I-almost-died' life-affirming sex or something?"

He tries to sound teasing, but she can see the insecurity shining in his eyes. She pulls him back into a kiss, tries to pour the words she's not sure she's ready to share with him into it, tries to make him understand.

"Castle - Rick, no," she sighs, looking down at their bodies before bringing her eyes back to his. "This isn't some life affirming thing... not for me, at least. I like you, a lot, and I… I don't want this to be a one time thing."

"You don't?"

"No."

"Oh, thank god." He's smiling at her, wide and genuine and she huffs out a laugh, amused by his excitement. Then he's kissing her again, hard, and his hand that had been previously halted is sliding over the top of her thong, rubbing her clit through the thin lace material, and she's sure he can feel how wet she is, how much he's turning her on, and she realizes that she doesn't care – she wants him to know how much he affects her.

She arches into him, chases the pressure his hand is providing, but then he's moving away, bringing his hand back up to her stomach before dipping under the waistband. He's slower with his exploration now, takes his time traveling to her clit, circles it maddeningly slow when he gets there, causing her to squirm and whimper underneath him, before he takes it lower, sliding his index finger through her slit.

"Fuck, you're wet," he groans, his breath hot against her cheek.

"All for you."

He slides two fingers into her then, the palm of his hand pressing hard against her clit. She moans, kissing him with all she has in attempt to muffle the sounds she's letting out. His mother and daughter aren't home, but she still feels like she should be issuing some level of restraint.

She moans, her eyes rolling back and oh god she's going to come.

"Fuck, Rick," she moans, pulling his head to the crook of her neck. "Don't stop, don't stop, I'm gonna –"

"I'm not stopping," he growls, pressing his palm down just the slightest bit harder and she snaps. Her body goes tense as she pulses around his fingers, her mouth open on a silent moan.

His fingers slow, but he keeps them moving, helping her ride out her orgasm.

Her eyes flutter open (when did she shut them?) moments later, and she sees him smiling at her.

"Wow," she whispers.

"Yeah."

He's beside her now, must've rolled off of her while she was in her post-orgasm haze. He's studying her, something more than lust in his eyes, and it should unnerve her, scare her, but it doesn't. Not in the slightest.

"I meant what I said earlier, about this not being a one-time thing," she whispers, not wanting to break the peace that seems to have fallen over the room. "I care about you Rick, a lot, and I'm in this if you are."

"God, you know how to turn a man on."

"So you feel the same?" she asks, uncertainty clouding her brain, because if he doesn't want more of this, of her, she's not sure she can go through with this.

"Kate," his voice is soft yet determined. "Look at me?"

She does.

"There's nothing I want more, okay?" he breathes, pressing a kiss to her clavicle, lingering there. "Don't ever question that."

"Okay," she replies, failing to suppress the grin forming on her face, and she's pretty sure her eyes are shining just as bright as his. "Now will you hurry up and fuck me?"

It's crass. A polar opposite of the words that had just been exchanged between them, but she wants him, needs him, and she's not afraid to let him know. Not anymore.

"Bossy," he murmurs, placing a soft kiss to her mouth, before winking. "I like it."

They're moving then, reaching to pull down his boxers and remove her now ruined underwear, as he reaches past her, grabbing a condom from his bedside table.

She takes it from his hands, fluidly tears the wrapper open with her teeth, and if the glint in his eyes is anything to go by, it has the desired effect.

"On your back," she commands, her words softened by the smile adorning her face. He's smiling too, as he follows her instructions, rolling off of her and onto the sheets to her left.

She climbs on top of him, her knees placed on either side of his waist, straddling his thighs, just inches away from where she aches to be sitting. She smiles at him, wide, showing her teeth, as she reaches down, only tearing her gaze from his as she looks down to roll on the condom.

"I can't believe this is finally happening," he whispers, as she readjusts them, positioning him at her entrance. She hums in agreement, which soon turns into a moan as she glides him through her slit, coating him in her wetness before finally sinking down.

Twin moans fill the room. They stay like that for moments, taking in the feeling of closeness. He's still, allowing her the time to adjust, but she doesn't need it, she just needs him to _move._ So she rolls her hips, grinds onto him, and oh god, she's not going to last long. Although, by the quiet 'fuck' he lets out, she doesn't think he will either.

He bucks his hips then, _hard,_ and it pulls her from her thoughts, back to him. He's staring at her, looking at her with so much awe in his eyes, like he truly can't believe this is happening. But then again, neither can she.

She leans down to kiss him then, moves her hands from their place on his chest to beside his head. The kiss is soft, more them breathing each other in than anything, a juxtaposition to the way their hips are moving.

She buries her face in his neck, presses open-mouth kisses there as she grinds down onto him.

"I'm close," she mumbles into his skin, biting down a bit too much on a particularly sharp thrust.

"Let go, Kate," he groans, sliding his hands from their place on her ass, bringing one to her breast, the other down to where they're joined, pressing tight circles into her clit. "I've got you."

Rick presses two more tight circles against her and then she's gone, moaning loudly, the sound only slightly muffled by the barrier of his neck. He thrusts up a once, twice, and then he's spilling into the condom, going limp beneath her.

"Castle," she whispers a few minutes later, after he's returned with a warm towel and cleaned them both up. Her head's rested on his chest, her right hand tracing patterns across his torso. "We never finished our movie marathon."

"No," he laughs, his thumb rubbing circles on her shoulder. "We didn't."

"We could always have a marathon of our own… if you're up for it."

"Katherine Beckett, you little minx," he groans, laughing at her. "I will always be up for it with you."

"Mmm, good," she replies. "Can we just have a quick nap first?"

"Sure."

"Thank you," she mumbles, sleep beginning to pull at her. "For letting me stay with you."

"Mm, thank _you_ for staying with me,"

She looks up at him, a smile wide across her face.

"Where else would I stay?" she asks.

"I don't know… a hotel? With Lanie?"

"Rick," she hums, placing a kiss to his chest. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

* * *

A/N: thank you to the lovely alex for beta-ing and sorry this took so long xx


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